Big Obama Escalates War on Ungood
AIRSTRIP ONE, D.C. – The assault by the White House on perceived obstacles to the Obama agenda rages on. Today, already fully engaged in the war on Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin and hard-working Americans with good jobs, the President signed an executive order that brings the fight to a popular segment of the entertainment industry.
Effective immediately, Emmy Award-winning index card reader Alex Trebek, now America’s first O-Speak Czar, will be charged with compiling a “black list” of entertainers who regularly work without scripts or teleprompters. The move is expected to hit improv comedians especially hard.
White House advisors have long been at a loss when it comes to President Obama’s teleprompter dependency. He is said to have once taken more than thirty minutes to place an order at a Washington fast food restaurant, and for months Obama has been unable to articulate his position on Afghanistan troop levels.
White House Spokesboob Robert Gibbs explained, “The president would like me to be clear. When a televised address on health care nets a lower Nielsen rating than a rerun of ‘Who’s Line is it Anyway?’ it’s time to take action.”
“Certainly we would have preferred to simply showcase the president’s own extemporaneous speaking skills,” Gibbs continued over raucous laughter from the press, “but as our propagandists are fully engaged in the war on prosperity, we thought it best to focus our efforts on combatting those who would divert the public’s attention from Obama’s unscripted prowess – improv comedians, sportscasters and bingo callers, for example.”
Unexpectedly confronted on the matter during his visit to Japan, President Obama reportedly said “um” sixteen times and then dashed into a nearby Sony store where he sucked his thumb and stared at the televisions for the remainder of the afternoon.
Spokesboob Gibbs is on the case – fear not! lol
Excellent piece by the Eaglet!
Obama is a ventriloquist of sorts; i.e. he can moves his lips and talk out of his behind at the same time!