A Very Barry Halloween
WASHINGTON, D.C. – There was a full moon over Washington as Barack and Michelle Obama celebrated their first Halloween in the White House Saturday night. Finally taking a much-needed break from golfing and gardening, the President and First Lady hosted an extravagant invitation-only affair with a guest list limited to a handful of friends, politicians, celebrities and Carrot Top.
Unfortunately, the festivities got off to a rocky start when a spirited round of Bobbing for Arugula was cut short after Senator John Kerry suffered what he described as “a life-threatening injury.” As staff worked feverishly to craft a Purple Heart replica out of candy corn and pumpkin seeds, the Senator was rushed to the White House triage center where he was treated with a Hello Kitty Band-Aid and a hug. He is expected to make a full recovery.
The curiously odd tone continued when former President Bill Clinton arrived, apparently dressed as his wife, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.
“What costume party?” he asked. “Shit, they got Hill over in the Middle East or something. I always wear her stuff when she’s out of the country. Hey, where are the interns? Don’t tell me Letterman got here first.”
At midnight, the party’s hosts made their grand entrance, Michelle Obama dressed as the Wicked Witch of the West Wing and Barack as a piece of phlegm, signaling guests to gather for the judging of the first annual Obama Costume Contest.
Congressman Barney Frank reprised his role as the Banking Queen with an ensemble that was essentially 2,000 sequins glued to an old Teletubby costume. White House Communications Director Anita Dunn, as expected, donned a bloodied outfit reminiscent of the millions of Chinese citizens who stood in the way of her favorite political philosopher Mao Tse-tung.
One particularly innovative couple got together for a variation on the well-known two-part horse costume and appeared as talk show host Oprah Winfrey, but the winner of the contest, and clearly the highlight of the evening, was former Vice President and polar bear advocate Al Gore who successfully merged Halloween tradition with liberal ingenuity. As guests scrambled for the doors, Gore took home the prize for his Egyptian mummy costume made entirely of recycled toilet paper.
Said Gore as he rolled up his sleeve for his third Hepatitis booster of the night, “Hey, it’s better than being Oprah’s ass.”
lol
Did Letterman dress as a pig?
Isn’t it Halloween everyday in the White House? Barack masquerades as an intelligent, caring American all the time.