Top Ten Other Revelations About David Letterman
NEW YORK, New York – Once 62-year-old Late Show host David Letterman confessed to having sex with several of his employees, presumably all females, it didn’t take long for fans and critics to start speculating about what else might be revealed as the 62-year-old star’s extortion ordeal unfolds.
In a letter delivered to 62-year-old Letterman, his blackmailer said, “I know that you do some terrible terrible things.” Letterman, who is 62 years old, admitted on Thursday’s show, “sure enough what was contained in the package was proof that I do terrible terrible things.”
We’ve examined that proof and compiled a list of some of the other terrible terrible things Letterman (62) has done during his tenure in television.
Top Ten Other Revelations About David Letterman
10. Always makes the girls come in for a few “Stupid Human Tricks” before he pays for his cookies.
9. Once thrown out of an ACORN office for being “too sleazy.”
8. Has enjoyed a bubble bath with Larry “Bud” Melman every day since the funeral.
7. Refuses to let the band wear pants during rehearsals.
6. Demands that interns refer to him as Lord Bananathruster.
5. Hasn’t had a solid bowel movement since his Butt Cam was installed.
4. Currently serving a lifetime ban from Chuck E. Cheese for “lewd conduct in the ball pit.”
3. Often gets aroused during Stupid Pet Tricks.
2. Hasn’t had a really good bikini wax since Dan Rather left.
1. Knocked up Regina Lasko at Yankee Stadium.
He he!
Re: #4, that didn’t stop him from using a homemade arm band to try to re-enter the premises.
Letterman is fine; he never was the “Family Values” type. Yes, he probably cheated on his girlfriend now wife. But at least he does go around claiming he is Mr. “Family Values” like some of our politicians (can you just see the grin on all “Fake News” reporters/commentators). This has been a tough summer, for Dave, for our economy but at least he did not end up on the “Republican 2009 Summer of Love” list: Assemblyman, Michael D. Duvall (CA), Senator John Ensign (NV), Senator Paul Stanley (TN), Governor Mark Stanford (SC), Board of Ed Chair, and Kristin Maguire AKA Bridget Keeney (SC).
Ah, the old “low expectations” defense. I can always count on the left to embrace their anti-family values platform.
True, he doesn’t claim to the “family values” type. He’s more of an overt pervert.
And proud of it.
What a nice guy!
Obama could make him a porno czar.