She’s a 4.7
LOS ANGELES, California – City officials are continuing to assess the impact of an earthquake that struck near Los Angeles International Airport on Monday. The magnitude 4.7 event caused minor damage and a few injuries just southeast of the airport, but, for the most part, Los Angeles escaped unaffected.
Seismologists believe they have pinpointed the quake’s epicenter and are currently running tests in the vicinity of a Redondo Beach strip mall to confirm their suspicions.
“We’re seeing quite a bit of damage around the South Bay Outpatient Center’s cosmetic surgery facility, and ground readings would seem to confirm that the epicenter is most likely nearby.” reported one seismologist.
A South Bay staffer, Hollywood Plastic Surgeon Dr. Lois D. Nominateur, provided one possible explanation. ”[P]atient confidentiality precludes offering any specifics, but, generally speaking, we see quite a few clients who are … shall we say, eager to take plastic surgery to an unhealthy extreme. For the most part, we’re able to come up with effective solutions that don’t significantly compromise patient safety.”
“On rare occasions, however,” Dr. Nominateur conceded, “we experience minor complications. The human skin can only tolerate so much tension before it reaches a breaking point, as it were, and in some cases, where the strength of the epidermis has been slightly miscalculated, undesired side effects have been known to result — a blow-out, for example.”
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who happen to be in the area for what her official schedule lists as “personal business,” was last seen scurrying into a nearby Home Depot and could not be reached for comment.
